When I was sorting out pictures for the videos I was making for Ryan’s 40-day memorial function, an old photograph caught my attention. He was showering his love on a dog during one his family trips to Goa. This was before we had even met and it’s now become one of my favourite pictures of him.
The Animal Lover
I cannot stop smiling wide at this picture even though his face can barely be seen. I was sure I had to include this picture in the memorial video.
It was SO quintessential Ryan, my husband.
I’m witness to the countless times he’d play with random street dogs anywhere and everywhere. He’d whistle, and they’d come wagging their tails to him, and then he’d fondle them lovingly to their delight. He enjoyed playing with them and pampering them…and they melted like chocolate under his touch. The connection was a sheer sight to behold.
He loved animals…even the unlovable ones. I still cannot get over his weird fascination for lizards, when most including me, would run for our lives. He’d love to catch and hold them by their tails, and even play pranks on unsuspecting family members and friends.
He also had a fun, quirky, naughty side to him that made a fascinating balance. Coming to think of it, there was always a new side of him you’d discover that you never knew existed in the first place. I guess it was that mystery, intrigue, and depth that had me falling more and more in love with him, as the years went by.
He loved bears too and would always be on the lookout to see a grizzly bear on our drives when we lived in California for five years. But to no avail!
Childlike and Eagle-like
Ryan was such a child and I say this in a good way. He retained that childlike innocence until his very end of life. A tall order in the kind of world we live in today.
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 18:2-4
He was also super sharp. More of an observer than a speaker, nothing escaped his perceptive eye. It’ll not be wrong to say he knew me more than I did. He could sense what I needed even before I knew it. And provide that generously. He was like that not just to me, or our child or family, but also to strangers.
At the same time, he was very discerning with a strong sense of right and wrong. He’d let me know when he was so proud of me, and when I was going the wrong way. He held a mirror so I could clearly see and change for the better. Good spouses do that to each other.
Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”
Matthew 10:16
Taking Regular Stock
Ryan was extremely charming with a quick, quirky wit, but he toned that side down. He preferred to remain that way and far away from all attention.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Ryan was leaning more and more towards altruism in the later years and months of his life. He dialled up his simple, sophisticated, and non-materialistic side instead.
It was clear to me he was taking stock of his personal actions, holding himself accountable regularly. One thing I’m certain of is that the Ryan I knew and spent time in his last few months was the best version of him to date.
A Rarer Kind of Intelligence
Ryan had something that is rare to find around in men and women today. Even though he’s intelligent on the intellectual and emotional front, he had a gentle spiritual wisdom.
And he was a handsome man, with the most beautiful eyes and smile I’d ever seen. But his heart was the most beautiful of them all, hands down. It’s what I also reminded him umpteen times as he lay helpless and weak on the hospital bed in his last days.
He had a pure heart and his love was pure.
Stories I hear from his recent place don’t surprise me because he’s the kind who’d extend his kindness to the have-nots (people and animals) of society, and not let even his left hand know about it.
So when you give alms, do not have it trumpeted before you; this is what the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win human admiration. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward.
Matthew 6:2-3
But when you give alms, your left hand must not know what your right is doing.”
As I often say, he was a Christian in action. Someday I will elaborate on the wonderful lessons I learned from his life, love, and wise words.
Leaving a Legacy Behind
While I could understand we, his family, being shattered, knowing who’ve we lost, I wasn’t prepared to see the massive love and support for Ryan far and wide. I say this because he was a reserved man. And, to see people who knew him even recently from little children to the elderly praying and rooting for him is a memory I’ll cherish forever.
I can count the contacts in his last phone list, and I’m sure the number would have been getting lesser if he were to live for more time here.
So…Imagine this extremely private man hugged by people from different faiths, each praying for him in his final moments in a fully packed ICU. And later, at a church just as full for his funeral.
As much as the world might try to convince us otherwise, it just goes to show that kindness and goodness don’t go unnoticed. People knew he was a good man. He didn’t need to announce it. Good people, more so men, are a rarity in today’s world.
This is Ryan’s legacy that’s greater than any riches in the world.
I truly believe Ryan fulfilled his purpose here, which was to love unconditionally. And God was mighty pleased.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
This post is a part of Blogchatter A2Z Challenge 2026.
