I was sorting out pictures for the videos I was making for Ryan’s 40-day memorial function. One old photograph that caught my attention, even though his face cannot be seen clearly, was him showering his love on a dog. This was before we had even met, and somewhere in Goa in one of his family trips.
I couldn’t stop smiling wide at the picture. I knew this was definitely going in the video. This was so Ryan, my husband. Absolutely pure love, goodness,generosity, kindness, and selflessness. I am witness to the countless times he’d play with random street dogs anywhere. He’d whistle, and they’d come wagging their tails to him, and he’d fondle them lovingly to their delight. The furiously wagging tails were evidence. He enjoyed playing with them and pampering them, and they melted like chocolate under his touch. The connection was a sheer sight to behold.
He loved animals…even the unlovable ones. Think lizards! I cannot still comprehend how lizards could catch this man’s fancy, and he’d love to catch and hold them by their tails, and even play pranks on unsuspecting family members and friends. While he was a good man, he also had a fun, quirky, naughty side to him. There was always a new side of him you’d discover that you never knew existed in the first place. I guess it was that mystery, intrigue, and depth that had me falling harder for him as the years went by.
He loved bears too and would always be on the lookout to see a grizzly bear on our drives when we lived in California for five years. But to no avail! He was such a child.
He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 18:2-4
He retained that childlike innocence until his very end at 46 years old. A tall order in the kind of world we live in today. But he was also super sharp. More of an observer than a speaker, nothing escaped his perceptive eye. It’ll not be wrong to say he knew me more than I did. He could sense what I needed even before I knew it. And provide that generously. He was like that not just to me, or our child or family, but also to strangers.
At the same time, he was very discerning and had a strong sense of right and wrong. He’d let me know when he was so proud of me, and when I was going the wrong way. He held a mirror so you could clearly see and change for the better. Good spouses do that.
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” – Matthew 10:16
As I mentioned in the earlier post, Ryan was leaning more and more towards altruism in the latter years and months of his life. He was always non-materialistic, simple, and sophisticated. Extremely charming with a quick, quirky wit, he toned that side down and preferred to remain far away from all attention.
It was clear to me he was taking stock of his personal actions, holding himself accountable regularly. One thing I’m certain of is that the Ryan I knew and spent time with last was the best version of him, and I’ll always cherish the fact that we spent our best times together in those last few months. We were so giddy with happiness, like little children who were kindred spirits.
While I could understand we, his family, being shattered, knowing who’ve we lost, I wasn’t prepared to see the massive love and support for Ryan far and wide. I say this because he was a reserved man. So, to see the massive love for him from people who knew him just recently was a surprise. From little children to the elderly.
It shows kindness and goodness don’t go unnoticed. People knew he was a good man. Good people, more so men, are a rarity in today’s world.
Ryan had something that is rare to find around in men and women today. Even though he’s intelligent on the intellectual and emotional front, he had a gentle spiritual wisdom that made his heart the most beautiful of them all. And he was a handsome man, with the most beautiful eyes and smile I’d ever seen. But his heart was the most beautiful of them all, hands down. And this is what I also reminded him umpteen times as he lay helplessly and weak on the hospital bed in his last days. He had a pure heart and his love was pure.
Stories I hear from his recent place don’t surprise me because he’s the kind who’d extend his kindness to the have-nots (people and animals) of society, and not let even his left hand know about it.
So when you give alms, do not have it trumpeted before you; this is what the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win human admiration. In truth I tell you, they have had their reward.
Matthew 6:2-3
But when you give alms, your left hand must not know what your right is doing.”
As I often say, he was a Christian in action. Someday I will elaborate on the wonderful lessons I learned from his life, love, and wise words.
While I could understand we, his family, being shattered, knowing who’ve we lost, I wasn’t prepared to see the massive love and support for Ryan, far and wide. I say this because he was a reserved man. His phone contacts had barely forty contacts. I’m sure the list would have only gotten shorter if he were to live for more years. He was getting even more exclusive.
Add to it the fact that Ryan didn’t have a social media presence. So, to see the massive outpouring of love for him came as a pleasant surprise. From little children to the elderly, to people who knew him only recently. Imagine this extremely private man having lots of people around him during his ICU stay until the funeral!
It just shows kindness and goodness don’t go unnoticed, even though the world might want to prove otherwise.
People knew he was a good man. Good people, more so men, are a rarity in today’s world.
I truly believe Ryan fulfilled his purpose here, which was to love unconditionally. And God was mighty pleased.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
This post is a part of Blogchatter A2Z Challenge 2026.
