It’s terrible to read the news of yet another rape of another woman, this time a bright, young medical doctor by Sanjoy Roy, allegedly a civic volunteer, but truly a monster of the highest order, who was addicted to violent pornography.
What’s with political parties of every colour, be it the BJP or TMC, shielding rapists instead of just kicking them out of the party and putting them behind the bars?
Also, how convenient to dismiss high-profile (read involving influential people) rapes and murders as ‘suicides’ without proper inquiry?
Women in India vs. women in Western countries
One thing that’s always struck me when living or visiting abroad is how safe and free women are in public spaces. I know women aren’t safe anywhere in the world, but hear me out!
I was pleasantly surprised when women like you and me would don bikinis with a sarong or scarf around their waist to go to the residential swimming pool during the summers. This was when I was living in California.
My aunt had asked me if I had a culture shock when I landed here and I told her no, to her surprise. Because everything that I’d seen about America in pop culture was how it truly was.
When I went to the UK a few months ago, it was refreshing to see women and girls in the skimpiest outfits in public spaces like trains and buses with no care at all. I met a childhood friend after 15 years in the night in London. She travelled alone in a mini bodycon dress, a mother of 2 boys. We drank at Trafalgar Square and she told me we could hang around and roam around the streets till 2 am with no fear whatsoever.
You know what’s the best part is? Nobody stares at you and makes you feel uncomfortable. Nobody is judging you. That’s the key difference.
Indian women are not free in public AND private spaces. How is this a fair deal?
Yes, rapes happen everywhere in the world. But here’s the catch.
Women are safe and free in most public spaces abroad. They can just be – be it either in a bikini, hijab, or something in-between. And no one gives an effing damn.
How many decades is it going to take our country to come out of their hypocrisy when it comes to moral lecturing adult women? All in the name of good old sanskaar! Yes, I’m looking at all your soulless politicians and leaders who have all the gall in the world to point fingers at dead raped women for their choices – even if they are medical doctors on night duty?
I’m not advocating women should start wearing skimpy outfits and bikinis in public. But the point I’m trying to make is how safe and free are our public spaces, really?
When we are not truly inclusive of our women in public spaces, what hope do we have in secluded places, even if it’s in public institutions like schools, colleges and hospitals?
At least abroad, women are safe and free in most public spaces. Yes, there are certain places and times where no one’s ever safe – men, women or children.
India or Bharat has a LOT to work upon before they can even dare to invoke the names of the Gods such as Ram, Allah, Jesus or whoever you pray to. Because even God helps those who help themselves first.
So, what are we truly doing about making India a safe space for women and children, at least in public spaces?
The truth is bitter, but it’s vital to swallow it for the cure
Tanya Khanijow, an Indian influencer living in Finland, raised the same concern on X. Her post had our desi men spiral into a rabid meltdown as they came in droves, circling her profile – abusing and threatening to unfollow her. What Tanya spoke is the absolute truth about her lived experience as an Indian woman. But how dare she say such unpatriotic things?
I am on Tanya’s side because unless we take a long, good, hard look at our regressive mentality towards women, there is really no progress towards freedom for Indian women in this country. Unless we take accountability for the little and big things that we can do to make this country safer for our future generation of women, there is going to be no true independence for Indian women in this country.
In India, women are met with vulgar glances, judgmental looks, and lewd comments if they step out to wear they truly want to. Even social media comments are quite telling of how much filth is filled in the repressed minds of Indian men.
Primarily, our mindset towards women needs to change drastically. Then only we can hope our law makers will actually do something about rape. Else, it’s always the woman’s fault, no matter what.
The brutal rape of the 31-year old doctor in state-run RG Kar Medical College, Kolkata right before the Indian Independence Day brings to mind Tagore’s powerful poem “Where The Mind Is Without Fear”.
Indian women are still fighting a daily battle, hoping for the day that the first line of the poem sees the light of the day for us.
“Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high.”
Indian women have been doing everything possible, from forced modesty to carry pepper spray. Apparently, nothing seems to work at all.
The onus is now upon Indian men to make women feel truly safe and free in their skin – be it at home and anywhere else in this country.
Jai Hind!
