What is your kind of sexy? 


We live in a world that’s getting increasingly explicit in every sense of the word, and not just in the physical. Yes, that too! But everything’s all out there. The ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it!’ philosophy, literally and metaphorically. And that’s the definition of sexy in the modern day world. 

Whatever happened to good old modesty! Okay, do I hear you say F modesty? Okay then, whatever happened to some good old mystery?

I’m no one to dictate what’s sexy and not. That’s a personal call in my opinion, which also makes it an exciting topic to explore.

For some, sexy means great physical assets.

For some, sexy means a fluid body language.

For some sexy means, mental prowess or intelligence.

For some, sexy means a great sense of humour.

For some, sexy means confidence.

For some, sexy means mystery. 

Often, sexy is combo of these mix-and-match traits of your choice. Much like what you choose to put in your plate at a lavish buffet spread!

And I’d say there’s a dash of truth in all these definitions of sexy. Because one individual’s sexiness differs greatly from another’s. 

Let me thrown in some quick examples as reference points.

Deepika Padukone, Disha Patani, Kiara Advani are the modern-day sex symbols in the Hindi film industry today. You need to be a certain physical type, sport a certain aesthetic and give certain expressions to fit in the typecast sexy mould. Honestly, I find it gets predictable and a tad boring after a while. No offense to these women, as I understand it’s the workings of the competitive entertainment industry.

Don’t get me wrong! It’s not that these women aren’t sexy. But for me, I find Deepika Padukone sexy more because of her attitude. It’s mysterious, and even bordering on reclusiveness at times, for one. Second, she really doesn’t care how people perceive her and does her own thing without giving any explanations or justifications for it. Whether it’s her statement on dating other men while having Ranveer Singh in her mind or not reacting to barbs by contemporaries, Deepika Padukone moves about her business like a boss. I think she uses her voice intelligently and for the right causes.

However, my point was that the cookie cutter style of sexiness just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. Give me hand drawn shapes and styles that scream individuality without being loud or trying too hard.

Give me diverse manifestations of sexy. Sai Pallavi who’s just around 5 feet tall, wears her pimples like sparkling jewels on her face, flashes a wide smile that touches the outermost corner of her eyes, dances like no one’s watching, and refuses to bow down to the norms of the industry is definitely sexy.

Manju Warrier, who’s in her mid-forties and ruling the Malayalam industry with her gravitas and talent, is sexy to the core.

Parvathy Thiruvothu, who doesn’t shy away from expressing her mind, even if it’s against the establishment and at the cost of her professional success, is extremely sexy. 

Sexy can’t be limited to youth. Neena Gupta, who’s at her prime sex appeal in her 70s, is a shining example. Zeenat Aman, with her poise and intellect, still has it going on as she did in her heydays.

I find Fahadh Faasil sexy for being comfortable in his skin. He’s broken the stereotype that bald men can’t be mainstream heroes. I also find the Tamil actor, famously known as Chiyan Vikram, sexy for his distinct soothing personality, apart from his irresistable good looks. 

Certainly, there is no one type that is sexy. It’s also why sometimes we fall in love with the most unexpected people. True, in the earlier days, some of our picks in love could be questionable. Mine certainly were! Anyway, as we grow older and gain more understanding of what we truly want, we know what our kind of sexy is. 

Earlier, I’d be a sucker for men with light eyes. And I did eventually marry a man with the most gorgeous set of eyes. Of course, that’s not the only reason I married him, but it drew me towards him for starters. 

But if you ask me today, I’d say, “Sexiness is honesty.” It’s something I place above other desirable traits I seek, like intelligence or wit, empathy, ethics, and fairness. Loyalty, of course, is a given in relationships. Honesty is also the baseline for friendships, and not just romantic love. 

An honest person is a sexy person in my eyes. Honesty doesn’t have to be exclusive of kindness, and it certainly calls for courage. Honesty is a rare trait in the modern world. And when I find someone who embodies the trait, I know they’re for keeps. The rest, I’m willing to let go of freely and willingly.

So, what’s sexy according to you?

*I’m participating in #BlogchatterA2Z.

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Tina Sequeira
Tina Sequeira is a marketer and moonlighting writer. She is passionate about tech, creativity, and social justice—dabbling in and writing about the same.

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