When you are busy making plans, Life happens to you. There is only so much one can plan in life. Yes, you can plan your daily, monthly, quarterly and yearly plans and yet, there will things which don´t go as planned.
The same applies to people as well. Disruptions, misunderstandings, misgivings are bound to creep in. When a door closes, what does one do! Knock on it, barge and break in, wait for it to open in hope or simply walk away. I prefer to give it time to see where it leads to.
When it comes to unforeseen things, I´ve learnt to have Plan B and C as well. Putting all your eggs in one basket is not exactly the wisest thing to do. So, when a door closes, there are several others to knock at and walk in right through without any hesitations.
When it comes to people, it´s much trickier. I´ve learnt over the years to stay away from the mess. People looking to create controversies, ruffle up a few feathers, portray you in a negative light. You want to make sure you stay far away from them. Unless they change for the better. The change cannot come from you alone. I´ve always wondered how to appropriately act with genuinely narcissist and rude people.
Do you ignore and forgive their flaws?
Do you tell them upfront and risk shutting that door?
I´ve taken the latter route in the past couple of years. I don´t tolerate BS even if it is from someone much older to me. To my surprise, while it has shut the door immediately, it has paved the way for a more authentic relationship in the longer run. They know you mean you mean business and there are lines you will not tolerate being crossed. They know you won´t hesitate to walk away. They know you are looking for real relationships and you will take nothing less and nothing more. When it comes to closed doors especially within the family, I let things and people cool down. I don´t entertain gossip, disrespect and most of all, BS. Otherwise, my doors are always open for anyone. Those who understand that, good for all of us. Those who don´t get it, I understand that they need time to fix their inner demons, reflect and change. Having said that, I firmly believe that harmony and cordiality within the family relationship dynamics are extremely important.
Closed doors are not the end of the world. Yes, it can be disappointing sometimes when you reflect on the lost opportunities. But, every one gets more than a second or third chance and shot at life. Every single day comes with its own set of opportunities galore. Especially, if you are a big believer and doer of the ´Carpe Diem´philosophy, there is no stopping you. Closed doors may bend you but they cannot break or stop you from surging ahead. Where there´s vision, self-belief and focus, open or closed doors cease to hold any power and meaning.
On a concluding note, I love Madonna and her timeless music. One of my personal favourites from her came to my mind while writing for this one.
For this week´s Friday Reflections hosted by Corinne Rodrigues and Shalini Nair. This week´s prompt is “Closed doors – what is behind the doors/ why are they closed.”, this quote by Steve Jobs – “If you are working on something that you really care about, you don’t have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” and the photo provided by Corinne Rodrigues. Anyone can participate!