Hi, I´m Sia and this is my story about finding love.
I have often thought about it in wonderment. Why does love have to be so elusive and complicated?
I still remember how my heart first skipped a beat when I first laid my eyes on Suhas. It was a funny feeling because I never felt like this way before. But, he never showed any special interest in me. He was always with the boys unaware of my presence or my feelings for him. Thus, I had my first cruel heartbreak at the tender age of six.
Looking back, love was quite simple way back then. So, when did it start getting knottier?
Oh! I forgot to tell you that there was lanky John too from the same class. Together, the two boys made my heart go aflutter and my eyelids bat faster than the bats´ wings. Gosh, do I sound pathetic already?
Life was kind because I then discovered books. I found a safe haven where I started crushing on fantastical characters. There was Nancy Drew who I really thought was me in my head with an imaginary Ken. We cracked some of the toughest cases in the world with cool chess-like moves. Sherlock Holmes remains the perennial love of my life even though there are growing rumours about his orientation. It doesn´t matter because I am a veteran in one-sided and hopeless love-stories as you can gauge by now. Yes, I´m an incurable hopeless romantic.
I wish love was as easy as finding it between the pages of books, flitting from one handsome character to another. Alas! adolescence struck and my hormones went haywire. As if I wasn’t deranged enough, my body ganged up against my mind, My life turned upside down leaving my rose coloured glasses slightly cracked. A fully cracked ´I´m not a girl not yet a woman´ being who looks at life with slightly cracked rosy glasses. It´s a perfect recipe for disaster.
Disaster begets disaster! So, I kept attracting all the Mr.Wrongs in my life. From the sleazy 25 year old ´Bhaiyya´ in our neighbourhood who tried really hard to get into my pants to the young boy in my tuitions who loved the ´staring and glaring´ slo-mo Bollywood style romantic ritual that left me with a perpetual ´deer in the headlights´ look for life to my cousin who thought he could score a goalie by buying me romantic gifts in the form of soft toy cuddles and sentimental cards to more.
The wonder years is one messy goofy stage, I tell you! But, that´s the necessary bumpy road we all need to ride on if we want to find true love. Gosh! I still sound pathetic and cheesy, don´t I?
Oh and how can I forget to mention about Sid? The boy from my hostel days who professed undying love to me till death do us apart. The one that spoke of lofty ambitions and our unborn babies that he saw in my eyes. The one whom I shared my first ever passionate kiss and more. The one who got away leaving me in the lurch after making all the false promises.
I finally gave up on love. This pathetic loser called Sia finally removed her tipsy rose coloured glasses and called it quits.
Little did I know that love would find me when I least expected it in the end game. He moved into the apartment next to mine where I lived with my ailing mother. With his towering height and presence, it was hard not to notice the dashing young Army officer, Jay. I was in for a better surprise. Whenever our paths crossed, he´d salute me with a dazzling smile that would completely throw me off the radar. I felt like a giggly 15 year old again in his presence.
“This man is dangerous, Sia..stay far away from him!”
My mind sent me all the warning signals while the body was too weak to resist his charms. My ´puppy-dog´mode would be on whenever he was in sight. I really had to fight myself from letting my tongue hang loose and drool in quick, panting breaths.
Strangely, the first move was made by Mum. She invited Jay home one evening where she smothered him with snacks and lighthearted conversation. I saw the smile back on her face after a long time. Ever since my father´s death and her subsequent ailments, my mother had little to smile about. Besides, the thought of my marriage weighed her down.
Was my mom upto something fishy?
Talking of fishy, it was their mutual love for fish that made my mother an ardent supporter of Jay. She started rooting for Jay so much that he became an integral part of my family. With my mother´s hand of approval, I made a life-long friend in Jay. In course of time, we took our relationship to the next level of dating for a couple of years. In the interim period, my mother passed away in peace, contentment and hope. She died in happiness with Jay and me at her bedside.
Jay was all that I had at that point of time. Right when we were contemplating marriage, Sid came back into my life. He pleaded forgiveness for walking away and wanted to know all about me. He started accusing me of not trying hard enough to get him back into my life. I was perplexed and caught between Sid and Jay.
However, it didn´t take me long to see through Sid´s games. He was always preying upon the sentiments of young, nubile girls and luring them with his mind games. He knew all the right words to say and things to do. Playing sleuth, I learnt that Sid was already married with a girl handpicked by his family. But, here he was back in my life feigning bachelorhood and professing undying love like a stuck tape-recorder. With my mother no more, he thought he could sway me easily as he did before. When he came to know about Jay, he said –
“You got lucky!”
“I got what I deserved, Sid! Good bye!”
And thus, I shut the door on Sid.
Jay and I got married. We have three beautiful children. Handsome is what handsome does. Jay is not just a good friend and husband, but he makes a great father as well. We´ve been respectful and supportive of each other´s dreams. And oh did I tell you the sexiest part about Jay! He cooks like a dream. What more can a woman ask for!
I don´t regret my embarrassing past. Because a girl´s got to do what she´s gotta do – kiss several croaking frogs to find her Prince Charming. I´m telling you from experience that there´s truth and lies in all those fairytales. There is no single Prince Charming waiting with his arms wide open for you. There are many. Many Prince Charmings, frogs et al. There is an ugly frog in every Prince Charming and a Prince Charming in every frog. You get the drift right? Like there is a Maleficent in every Snow White and Snow White in every Maleficent.
The tricky part is which one do you kiss and spend your lifetime with.
It´s not going to a joy ride. Be warned that finding love is going to be hard on the knees, heart and head. But, if you can endure tears, knocks, bulging waistlines, receding hairlines, greying hair, wrinkles, farts, snores and orange peel buttocks, you are going to have the time of your life. You can my word for it – Love is real and not a fairy tale!